Everyone's (usually) picky about their choice of ice cream. Some like single regular flavours like chocolate, some like it fancier like tiramisu, and some are just plain into bizarre stuff like green tea. But all of it's just a litmus test for your personality. And let's be real, you're hiding some real flaws with your favourite flavour.
Everyone loves you a little bit, but maybe not as much as you think. Turn that major ego down a notch, and maybe don't be so mainstream anymore. You're probably following every hashtag trend out there on social media, but you don't have to try so hard to fit in with the flow, just play to your strengths and be yourself. Definitely get off that high horse and maybe place that ego on a little stool instead.
You're like chocolate's blander little sibling. If there was a thing as “too basic”, it's you. I mean, vanilla, really? You're definitely not a risk taker or an adventurous free spirit, and if there was a prize for being locked up in a room you'd win it. There's a whole world out there you could go try to live in, so maybe instead of reading this article, I don't know, go skydiving or something? Be a free, wild spirit every once in a while; life's too short to be this boring.
If you had to pick a phrase to describe the state of your life right now/forever, it would be this. Much true to your tastes, you're hiding a lot of pain under the guise of fluffy marshmallow exteriors, but on the inside, you're a little bitter and a lot of nuts. Maybe a bit too nutty. Seek help.
I can't tell if you're a wannabe hipster or an actual one, but if you're as obnoxious as the neon pink and blue colours of this flavour, may heaven protect you. Manic pixie dream boys/girls, it's okay to admit you're as boring as vanilla most days, don't have to overcompensate by showing your quirkiness. But hey, if you ironically started liking this and grew to love it, all the more power to you, you've conquered your hate and developed an addiction similar to a metalhead being a sucker for Taylor Swift.
COOKIES & CREAM/ COOKIE DOUGH
What are you, 5? Your inner kid is out all the time, frankly, it'd be better to say your outer adult is absent most of the time. You've evolved from dunking Oreos in milk and stealing your mom's baking materials to use as snack mix to now enjoying them as dessert? Some habits you don't grow out of I guess. Hope no one finds your hidden shrine dedicated to your Oreo gods.
Sometimes the centre of controversy, sometimes a drama queen - it's just love it or hate it with you isn't it? You're the likeliest to become a cat person, and probably like to colour things in pink for the heck of it. Probably should re-evaluate your life choices before you become a hot pink sweater wearing old bat whose 20 cats are smashing handcrafted vases for your attention.
You're probably so addicted to your daily caffeine fixes these days you open boxes of these to and sniff them like they're the last coffee smell you'll ever inhale. You've also built up an Instagram-worthy a e s t h e t i c for showing off how many Murakami books you've read (skimmed) while it poses next to a coffee mug while you slap on a retro 60s filter that looks like your image got splashed with, yeah, coffee. Consider switching to tea, it's healthier.
You're now too pretentious and a snob. Congratulations, you're the upper-class bourgeoisie stereotype of ice cream lovers.
I liked you better as coffee. Consider switching back, it's probably healthier.
Nuhan B. Abid is someone who actually thinks puns and sarcasm are top class forms
of humour. Tell him that 'sar-chasm' is TOTALLY the best thing ever at firstname.lastname@example.org