My human seems to be sleeping quite peacefully. After all it's only dawn and she did go to sleep like a couple of hours ago. She has a really bad habit of staying up all night making these clicking noises on a device or scratching with ink on a piece of paper. But, wait a minute. Her hand is hanging from the edge of the bed. Is she trying to play with me even in her sleep? She's so thoughtful. I'll just bite her hand to show her how much I love her.
I am honestly done with humans. Their pea-sized brain can't even understand love. A few hours ago I tried giving my human some love with an affectionate bite on her finger and she screamed at me. I wish she had at least used some mouth wash before shouting at me. To top it all off, it's at least 5 minutes past my feeding time and she still seems to be sleeping. I think she wants to starve me to death. But, I'm one step ahead of her. I'm going to kill her first. If I put my paws over her nose then she won't be able to breathe anymore. Yes, perfect. Okay, no. She woke up.
Well, she might have won this round but I'm forever vigilant and at least I'll get my food now, so, who is the real winner here?
My human is one lazy being. She spends her whole day riding in cars and then comes back home and sleeps. My days are quite busy. My first task after she leaves is to go through the trash for better food. I know it contains good food because I've seen her keep some of her food there after finishing dinner. I remember this one time I had to be taken to the hospital after eating food from the trash because too much of a good thing is always bad for you.
After trash-hunting, I have a good fighting session with my arch nemesis, the red yarn ball. So far, I have won every single fight. When I'm worn out and tired I take a good long hour to clean my magnificent fur.
By the time my human comes back I'm quite tired from a long hard day. But what does she know about hard work? After riding in cars all day she comes in and disrupts my nap. When I was younger and didn't know better, I made the mistake of scratching her to show my disapproval. But then she cut my long beautiful nails. So, now I silently endure the torture and make sure my face shows how angry I am with her. Sometimes I even let out a few hisses.
After a warm dinner of canned tuna and a small nap, I am ready for playtime round 2. But, this usually ends with me being locked in the guest room for the rest of the night.
Tasnim Odrika is having an existential crisis at the moment and doesn't really know who she is anymore. Send her compliments at firstname.lastname@example.org