Making a Case for Cooking | The Daily Star
12:00 AM, October 05, 2017 / LAST MODIFIED: 12:00 AM, October 05, 2017

Making a Case for Cooking

Learn how to fry a damn egg

Are you a person? Are you a young person? Are you a male young person? 

If you have answered yes to two out of the three questions asked above, there is a huge chance that at some point in your life, you have declared that cooking is not for you. You have put up many excuses to justify this declaration. If you're a male young person then there's a chance that you've never even needed to come up with excuses, because no one expected you would know how to cook in the first place.

Some of you may have made the declaration against cooking when you were much younger and extremely naive. I shall assume that since then, you have come to your senses and learned how to fry an egg. For those of you who are still hellbent on proving that one does not need to know how to cook in order to survive in this world, I shall analyse each of your arguments and shoot them down.

“I AM A MAN.”

There are certain things that human beings need to know just to ensure their survival in this cruel world, such as walking, swimming, knowing when to shut up, and cooking. You must know these things regardless of your gender, age or taste in music. You must learn to not be dependent on other people (as in, your mother) for basic human needs, otherwise there will come a time when you will starve to death, and your manhood will be of no use then.

“COOKING IS A PATRIARCHAL CONSPIRACY DESIGNED TO CAGE WOMEN IN THE KITCHEN.”

Many women think that learning to cook will turn them into a stereotypical Ekta Kapoor character and that their parents will marry them off as soon as the stories of their excellent cooking skills reach the ears of local aunties. They also think that proudly telling people that they can't cook will make them seem “edgy” and “not like other girls”. Cooking has nothing to do with patriarchy, and you need to know how to cook just as much as your husband does. It is an important skill, one that can potentially save your life, very much unlike your mad skills in Ludo Star.

“I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING, BUT I STILL CAN'T COOK. I'LL MARRY A CHEF.”

Why exactly do you, a person who cannot even boil an egg, assume that a chef would marry you? I don't think it's fair to say that you can't do something without ever giving it a try. Find an easy recipe from BuzzFeed Tasty and give it a go. 

“WHAT IF IT TURNS OUT TERRIBLE?”

Of course it'll turn out terrible. As I have said before, cooking is a skill, and just like any other skill, it takes time to master. But this one skill is more rewarding than anything else you will learn (such as the anatomy of a cockroach in highschool biology), so you must have patience.

“I'LL EAT OUT. HOME COOKED FOOD NEVER TASTES GOOD ANYWAY.”

I myself used to think this until I came across the magical world of YouTube. Since then I have been making fried chicken that tastes better than any XYZFC. It's easier to make home cooked food taste better than restaurant food than you think, and the best part is that it'll save you money.

“MY MOTHER DOESN'T LET ME COOK/MY FATHER WON'T LET ME GO NEAR THE FIRE/I'M TOO LAZY.”

If your parents do not want to equip you with basic survival skills and you're too lazy to take matters into your own hands, then I am not sorry about pointing out that you will be the first one to die when the Fire Nation attacks. 

Cooking is not rocket science. All it requires is patience and care. Knowing how to cook saves lives, and has a much bigger impact on the overall betterment of the world than rocket science, in my opinion. Find a recipe from BuzzFeed Tasty or Siddika Kabir's Ranna, Khaddo, Pushti or just google something. I promise you, it will change your life.

Aanila Kishwar Tarannum started hating on everything the moment she realized why her parents put so many As in her name: because they knew her transcript would be devoid of any vowels. Find out about her relentless rants at aanila.tarannum@gmail.com.

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